{how forever feels}
There's a word people use. Loosely you'll hear it slip out of the mouths of teenagers with heart shaped pupils, bursting hormones and sweaty palms. Respectfully you'll see it honored in the last couples standing at wedding receptions with the number of years wed. It's 7 letters of absolute. By definition, it's boasts longevity. To the eye, its appearance is rounded and uniform as one. Two words linked.
Forever. It's a word I learn more about with each day and calendar turn. It's a word with roots. Thick and intertwining. It's not glorious. It's not magazine cover. It's work in the most wonderful sense. It's trust & time. It's failing and forgiveness. It's believing in your spouse more than any one human can. Day after day. Night after night. Repetitively investing your all in the one who holds your heart.
Kenny and I will be married 12 years this June. With a long courtship & engagement, we've been together a total of 17 years. With each year that passes, I learn more about what it means to be his. We have had huge swells of somekindaawesome and droughts of nonchalant neglect. We have learned the power of words. How they can build up and rip apart. And the power of touch. Physicalness for the sake of one. Hands. Hearts. Through hiccups and heartaches. It's the holding on and the helping up.
Forever is a proclamation made by two. One that can be found in the dirty laundry piles and the bills on the counter. It's evident in the pursuit of parenting and in the drive-thrus for quick dinner. It rests on the front porch were rocking is made best. The how was your day and the you gotta hear this. Forever stands on the step stool of mistakes and the meanings behind "I'm sorry" too.
There's no exact formula and yet, it's an absolutely beautiful science. Like play dough in our hands, we shape forever. Round & round our fingerprints and palms create new. Pressing. Folding. Breaking off and beginning again. Forever moves.
Kenny is my 7 letter word. Today even more than yesterday, I proclaim this to the heavens. He is my fit for life. Through our fusses, I proclaim it still. Droughts and times where I miss his face from all of our busy, I will proclaim it even more. He is the husband I look to for strength and laughter. For silly and serious. For somekindaawesome, no doubt. I believe in him more than any one human can. Through his faults, I see his fortune. I see his better and I know his best. Almost 17 years has me still learning to love him more. Two words worlds linked. Separate standing yet something all together new when joined. His arms are where I aim to fall forever. That's what it feels like to me.
.mac :)
