February 2013 will be held forever in my heart cupped hands. God moved. In me. In my family. In my boys. He took these 28 days to shine. It was a light so harvesty golden that I couldn't help but glean His glory. It was a light so simple & subtle that my eyes had to peer intently with a convicted precision to find it at times too. And, finally, it was light like a flashlight unveiling the creaky floored attic of my insides. Shining solely on the cobwebbed corners of my state. With waft-like waves flailing, my hands had no choice but to physically knock down the evidence of complacency and neglect. God moved.
My book for February was unofficially chosen by Kenny. He came to me sometime in January with the idea that we read this book together. We've never read the same book at the same time. He had just recently finished In a Pit With a Lion on Snowy Day
and wanted more of what Mark Batterson had to say. I liked the idea of reading the same content at the same time, so I jumped on board. I jumped on board is an understatement.
I want to speak to you in truth now. I say you, but I know all too well it's just as much spoken as a resounding reminder for me regarding the cultivation of spirit and just exactly how God-awesome that is when you feel it. Naysayers, beware. This is for you too. I speak it boldly and with a whole hearted conviction for all of us. The weary. The misplaced. The misconstrued. The skeptic.
I began reading this book
when my heart seemed fastened in a dark and clouded place. Dark like my expressions filed under "h" for honest here
. Clouded like no solutions in sight. This uninvited guest known as "WTH is happening to me"
was present when my red puffy eyes first met the printed text of Mark Batterson.
God infused. Timely. Targeted for growth. Nail on the head. I heeded these words. All of them. I listened & leaned. I began unraveling the many inconsistencies of me.
And, it felt so good. Like fresh colored play dough clean and smooth in my hands, I began shaping. Forming new objects of myself. Shredding away the extraneous scraps that no longer needed attachment. Re-thinking the design. Experimenting with the supple smush of second chance. That's called grace.
Poignancy personified itself. In my thinking. In my believing. In my direction. In my faith. To the weary, the misplaced, the misconstrued and the skeptical naysayers, I experienced a God interested in making me His on a more personal level and for a greater purpose. He came through with a resounding, "I need you. I need your heart, your energy and your gifts for things far more important than being pungently saturated in your puny imperfections of this world."
This book was a catalysis. Kenny's
simultaneous-book-read request was too. The church
we have consistently been visiting for the past 18 months chimed right in as well. Coincidence? No. Powerful in the presence of the poor in spirit is exactly more like it.
His timing is almighty and undeniable. Naysayers beware. Grace knows no bounds.
Hand over your heavy. Ask and He will absolutely defy your doubts. My February is proof.
Currently, I am reading this book as a follow up. Kenny is taking the challenge right along side me. I am overwhelmingly humbled and fervently grateful for Kenny's place in all of this. I needed scooping up. This isn't the first time. This man comes through like clockwork.
My prayer life is changing. These prayers are specific. They are abundant and resolute. If you are on my list, I am giving you over to Him in high detail every.single.day.
I can't wait to pray. Did you hear me? I CAN'T WAIT TO PRAY! It is my most favorite time of the day. I fill up pages in my journal. I talk out loud. I cross off and re-write. I accessorize my dreams with Him.
I am seeking His face and His will like never before. God knows me. All of me. And, just in case He doesn't, I am making it a point to tell Him more than I ever have. In wait for big answers in my story book of requests to Him, I feel clear headed and hopeful. But most of all, reliant. I am learning more and more this walk is not meant for easy. It's meant forever. Moving with an eternal motive and saturation of His glory in this skin, that's what life is.
Naysayers, beware. I speak boldly and with a whole hearted conviction for all of us. The weary. The misplaced. The misconstrued. The skeptic. Grace knows no bounds. Hand over your heavy. Ask and He will absolutely defy your doubts. My February is proof.