{in a decorative sense}

Okay. I am a sucker for a good deal. Like it brings me such joy to find something ridiculously cheap particularly if it is a good quality item.

Hit remind.
Setting: Yesterday. Hobby Lobby

The boys and I stroll up to the last side of the store just for eye candy purposes and to get a final glimpse at all the new Christmas ornaments as they had just finished stocking the shelves.

{I have a thing for a certain genre of Christmas ornament that I need every year in a quantity of 8 for a certain set of near and dear ladies in my life. Last year, I failed. I waited too late trying to catch the best deal, and only ended up with 4.} That won't happen this year.

On with the story at hand though.

I have trained Eli to watch for red sale signs.

Eli: "Mom! Look! A sale sign that says 9-0 on it! Is that good?"

Me: "Oh, yes sweet boy. That is really good."

90% off, that's right.

That only happens about 2 times a year at the good ole HL. Trust me, I know. I'm a frequent flyer.

Me: "Boys. Sit down right there on that shelf. (it was a low the floor and empty, worry warts) Here's your juice and snack. Don't move. Let mama look at what we got here."

2 older ladies {they remind me of The Golden Girls only they had those crazy print low nose wearing reading glasses with the connector bead chain}: "Honey, lookie what we found us here! Can you believe the steals on this shelf? Tell us, what you gonna get?"

{their baskets full to the brim with treasures.}

Background noise:
Eli and Casey crunching and sucking down juice while smacking their feet on the floor to make drumming noises

Me: "Well, well, ladies. I just don't know. I'm kinda on the practical side of life with decor in my home. I hate that those words even left my lips, sisters, but it is true. With a 2 and 4 year old and a limited budget, I'm kinda at a stand still with home purchases."

Golden Girls: GASP! "Honey child, we can't let that happen! Not with deals like these! Now pick you out a few. Go on. {coaxing me with back pats and all}

Eli and Casey: "Mom!!! When are we going????"

Me: {Casting evil death looks at both of them.} "Boys, wait patiently. I will be done in a minute!"

I flip the treasures over only to see the lowest ORIGINAL price item to read $19.99 and the highest ORIGINAL price item to read $34.99.

My mind scrambles. Drumming feet. Back patting. Internally, I'm crashing.

Me: "Ladies, I tell you what. I just don't know exactly what I would do with these. I mean I am just so far removed from frilly extras for my home."

1st Golden Girl: {pulling me aside with arm around my neck} "Sweetheart, these treasures here are dust collectors. The provide no purpose or function other than to look unique, eccentric, and pretty in your home."

2nd Golden Girl: "And honey, we are women. This is what we do. We collect things so we can dust them and then bitch about the housework we have to do to our husbands. It's our way, honey child."

1st Golden Girl: "Now, pick you out some, dear. This is a steal, I tell you. Don't let someone else snatch these out from under you!" {and then they both stroll on pushing their overflowing baskets and chitter-chirping amongst themselves."

Eli and Casey: "Mama!!!!! We're ready to go!!!!"

Me: Totally baffled. Mind blown. Flustered. "Okay, boys. Let's go."
I grab a handful of what looks good to me, shove them in my cart, and then revert to what feels most practical and natural to me in hopes to soothe my deal laiden mind...

I go straight for the ornaments I need. I count out 8. I then go and hide them in an inconspicuous spot in the store in hopes they will still be there when 30%-50% off ornament time comes.

Yes, I did that.

Then I went to the checkout counter and purchased the 90% off treasures. Still stumped as to what in the heck I am going to do with them.

Go ahead. Scorn me. I deserve it.

I caved under pressure. I bought these deals for deals sake, lost my mojo about it all, and then went into straight ornament survival-preservation mode in hopes of guaranteeing my discounted price and quantity assurance.

I left the store in a whirl of "What in the heck just happened?"

Me: {in my head rapidly thinking} I bought ornamental stumps and have no clue what to do with them, but dang, I got them for cheap. The most I paid for one of those treasures was $3.00. I hid Christmas ornaments. Omigosh, omisgosh, omigosh.

So, consider this post a confession of sorts. Not that I am Catholic, but I do feel better.

Do I need to return the stumps? Dunno. What would you do with these things? Seriously, just stick them on mantles, chests? Can I give them as gifts?

Do I need to go back and "unhide" the 8 count of ornaments? I know the answer to that, but tell me, would you want to come up 4 short again this year? I know, I know. You would just pay full price for them and get the 8 now. Or would you?

Dealing and stealing (sorta, huh?}

.mac :)