She welcomed the warmth for she knew nothing other than frozen & still. Under the long black, she found comfort. Woven into the fibers, her safety net cradled her. Hidden. Safe from saying. Protected from her unperformed too.
Hiding felt like the best kind of burden. For the more the little girl sunk in & under the woven, the more the noir needlework began to itch. Tugging ever so subtly so no one would notice, the little one readjusted her blanket made for unfeeling. She internalized and held tighter to the discomfort reminding herself that, "Yes, still is good. Remember, you're warm. You're safe. Never mind the incessant irritation. Neglect the urge to take it off."
Years of hiding became heavy. Her shoulders drooped from the weight. Her mind drifted into stale places where unavailable was the only offering she could give herself & others. And yet, she clutched the garment tighter. Interweaving her very own fingers into its place there on her person.
The clutched kept her; its suffocation was the reality she had known for so very long.
And the thing about
favorite frequently worn garments? Well, they wear out. Unraveled & tattered. Expired from the over-expansion of fibers stretched, these articles made for cover cannot withstand time's friction.
Slowly, her shoulders were seen through threadbare spaces. The briskness of air, both foreign & cool, felt fresh there on her skin. The awareness of the breeze was delightful & scary.
A little further back & a smidgeon more up, her shoulders welcomed the swirls of something new. They tempted her with such a strange joy. No longer a little girl, this young woman felt the whispers of the free flowing wind and the wailing of what-ifs just the same. There, they twisted her in circles leaving her whipped with uncertainty and yet engulfed in a movement so beautiful & free.
Oh, time. Oh, safety & still. Hush you. Stay covered. Do what is least noticeable. Be quiet. No, don't. Dizzy with the entrapment of twisted desire & disdain for her hiding place, time's friction had finished itself in her.
Enough. With one boisterous toss, those long, black fibers were removed. The inside, itching to be out, ceased.
And the little girl found what had been hidden.
Confidence comes in the itch. It comes in the wrestling off what may be expected of us by others. It's a battle, and it begins inside. Living long & hard & concealed by someone else's approval is not God ordained. It leaves you sunken & less. It erases opportunity. It devours hope. It deflates peace & energy good.
We are all gifted a beautiful charisma. One that's just ours from Him. It's with courage & guidance that we are able to wear this garment not just for ourselves, but for others. This kind of garment covering is smile finding. I am honored to find safety no longer in the clutches of those long, black fibers. His hand in mine reminds me that freedom is my only cloak. Empty is okay, and bare even better. For it is only when our skin touches His that we are able to really know warmth & safety.
My hope is that we all work to uncover a little more each day. Remove the masks. Neglect the quotas & the status keeping. And live. Really live in the light made for our best to be found. Hidden, no more.
Outfit Detailsmustard booties: $29 Shoe Dazzle Also worn here & here. peacock maxi dress: $2.99 GW Express brand. Also worn here. black mock turtle shaw: $3.99 GW
TOTAL OUTFIT INVESTMENT: $35.98
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