First. It's a strong word exiting your mouth. It requires effort with a tag team of teeth & lip. A one syllable gusto ending in a blend worthy of each letter sound represented, first becomes real. Simple in form. Happening again & again.
God deals with us in firsts. Both above us and holy in us, He creates moments that aren't just leather bound, but lesson worthy. And I think what I cherish most about this notion of first is the learning, moreover the leaning.
For me, faith comes in the knowing that I am not behind the lens of my life. I am not the one deciding what to capture and what to crop. He gets to choose; I get to collect. Better still, this collecting happens in time tempered with the commitment to seek His firsts in you.
Kenny asked me to marry him after 5 years of dating. FIVE. In those 1,825 days of courtship, much was firsted. Kenny's pursuit of my place in his life began with handpicked flowers from his Mammie Cobble's yard. With beautifully penned hand written notes left on the windshield of my car or in my college mailbox. Mexican restaurants and home cooked spaghetti meals too. And Kenny?He chose someone broken. Someone empty and so very lost. Yes, there were many firsts. Fights. Grudges. Manipulation. Sadness. Fear. We were two people in love with the idea of together and yet unsure of how to make it all just right.
Healing came through time. Through commitment. Through together. Kenny shared with me the love of God. And my first began once & for all there in my dorm room alone at 22 years old. God became mine.
A son. One full of movement & curiosity. Of vigor & knowledge. He grows up loyal and close to his insides. My oldest knows his people; he is fiercely devoted and so quirky & kind. A reader. A watcher. A young man seeking quality time and closeness. No frills. No whistles. Eli Garrett is my first born. His place in my life for the past 9 1/2 years has taught many things about first. I have leaned and learned so much since this image was captured. And I have so much more leaning & learning still to do.
2 sons. 21 months apart. My life with boys. Casey McGill has given me so many firsts. Ones that swirl around temper & tenacity. Social seeking. Confidence keeping. He has shown me what it means to relax and how to focus. He receives love with his whole heart and believes in people with all he has.
And for my husband. Through tangledness & empty, we have built better. One of the most poignant moments of my life was finding the above tucked in his truck visor. His 3 firsts. Mine too. A reminder that spoke volumes without saying a single word.
He brings me to center. Not in ways out loud or boisterous, but in ways forever. He believes in me. All of me. A first once more.
In the heaviness of this world, I work to remind myself of first. Of how unnecessary my pointer finger is for clicking and how important my eyes are for collecting the captured. My heart bundles the broken just as much as the bliss. And I do just what the "st" knows to do. Out my mouth, I blend them. With a tag team of teeth & lip all the way into a one syllable gusto ending. First becomes real. Simple in form. Happening again & again. Praise God, I am not behind the lens.
When I decided to bring life to this 31 days celebration of wardrobe & words, it was my intention to speak, to share & to serve. With these 3 notions, I hope you will open the gift available here each day in October. To learn more about this celebration, visit here.
I am excited that to share the stories of the above contributing authors this month as well.
Stay tuned tomorrow for k.Mac's 1st installment of the GW3 Challenge. A new model on my front porch of frugal fashion will be revealed.
TODAY is the last day to submit your holiday custom design orders to k.Mac. With just 2 hands, I have a whole lotta making to do. Thus, the early deadline. Not sure what to order? Head on over to k.Mac's Facebook page to decide. Email email@example.com with your holiday handmade hopefuls.