In search of the epic, I have failed. The cliche and continual pursuit of the "like" button bereaves me. I am finding the more I pursue my word of the year, the more I find myself obscure. Perplexed for a spell, I have felt a sadness for the pep rally of empty bleachers and unused megaphones. I have lamented over the basketfuls of unspoken for party favors and the unclaimed cupcakes of me still freshly made and waiting.
But, then real & good decided to set in. They brought all that was needed to make this yearly commitment to myself worthy. They offered me the gift freedom. Unaccounted for in all ways that matter not; present in all ways that matter most. I shied away from the words on screen and dealt with the words of my heart. I simply unplugged and underachieved in the world of accountability to the stranger who reads.
I've still kept my journals and posts. I just found myself at peace with but one set of eyes looking them over. Privacy has been a fit I have most enjoyed wearing. For climbing inside myself has been beautiful & perplex. My thoughts-turned-words have deemed themselves precious. My mind took the notion to wind around who I am and why I do. My time at rest was really what it should be. The rat race of me is slowly under construction. And, it feels good.
As I creep slowly back into this space, I do so with hesitation. Part fear & part fret of giving justice to just what my words mean to me exists within. Their worth along with the images they are entrusted to hold a validity in my heart. Their place in this world is not mandatory; their place in my life most definitely is.
So, see through me. Obtain my image, but not my form. For the details of each of us really are the real & the good. My soul seeks it.